the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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