that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
