i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The beer is more important than you right now.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
