i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
