Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
