im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I love having hate sex.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
