I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I will be naked everywhere
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
