Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
