how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
