Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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