Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
