I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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