Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
