Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
