We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
