Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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