And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
