she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
