Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
