Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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