she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize