Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
