Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You need Xanax blowdarts
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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