Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
