Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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