I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
