i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
