and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
