I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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