Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
