U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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