We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
