i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
