No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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