hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
