He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
