We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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