Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
is that a dick in a sweater?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
