She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
