You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
