So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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