he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
