ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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