i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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