I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
