Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
