Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
