She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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