i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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