There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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