The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
